Does any of these phrases sound familiar?
- I am not good enough
- That is for smart people
- I can never afford that
- I am not that fortunate
- I will never have time
- I will never be that good
These are all signs of low self esteem, and insecurity. We can never be happy, with these phrases around. So what can we do about it? How can we eliminate these phrases from our life and how can we help others around us do the same?
The first step in avoiding insecurity, is to erase the picture of perfection that we have drawn in our mind. The picture that we tend to compare ourselves to. The picture that is perfect yet so far away from reality. We need to be more realistic in setting our goals and stop comparing ourselves with others. The fact is we are all different individuals with different skill sets. We should start to celebrate our success based on comparing ourselves to our own self, the day before or a month ago, not comparing ourselves with others.
Second step is to cut ourselves some slack. Yes, we want to Improve ourselves day after day, but as a normal human being we are all allowed to fall, make mistakes, move backward. The most important thing is to learn from what set us back, or our mistake and move on. Don’t let one small mistake or setback stop us from pursuing our dream.
Step three is to practice positive self talk. It seems like, especially as women, we are more comfortable to talk negatively about ourselves and undermine our achievements. To escape insecurity, we should make a little change in our vocabulary. Instead of saying “ I failed….. (Fill in the blank with what you are working on)again, I will never be able to achieve …..(fill in the blank with your goal), say, “ even though I failed today, I have been super good at…. and I can get back on track. I can finish this.” You get the point. Replace negativity with positivity.
How can we help others with their insecurities?
- Praise them for what they are good at.
- Cut them some slack. No one is perfect
- Lower your expectations
- Never ever ever talk about their failures or their downfalls in front of others, even as a joke. It is not funny
Insecurity is the enemy to happiness. You cannot really be happy if you are dealing with insecurities. We need to stop blaming others for our insecurities and take the matter in our own hand. Let’s start with these simple steps to create more security for ourselves and others around us.
Stay happy and healthy