If you live in our society today, you for sure have either been criticized by someone or have critiqued another person. It is sad, but is the world that we live in. We give ourselves the right to judge people.
Criticism’s definition is: “the expression of disapproval of someone or something based on perceived faults or mistakes” according to Dictionary.com.
Criticism can sometimes be good, that is when it is called “constructive criticism”, but unfortunately 90% of critiques are not so constructive. They are mostly based on judgement.
In the society that we live today, criticism in part of our daily life, which is very unfortunate. Here in the USA we have TV shows that are based on critiquing celebrities, what they wear, how they talk, what they eat, etc. The reality is that criticism does not stay on TV and with celebrities only, it is part of our everyday life. From what I see around me, I don’t think this behavior is going away any time soon. The reality is that we need to learn to deal with criticism.
How to deal with Criticism?
Step one and the most important step is to stop judging people– I am putting
this step first because it is impossible not to be offended by other’s judgement if you are the person who always judges others. Let me give you an example to make this easier, if you are a chocolate lover, you will see and recognize the chocolate on the table faster and easier than someone who has never had a chocolate, or does not like chocolate. The same is when you are a judgmental person and tend to criticize everyone in the way they eat, dress, or talk, you will recognize when someone is judging you much faster compare to someone who does not care about the way others look, eat or talk and is focused on improving his or herself.
Step two in dealing with criticism, after you master step one, is to learn to look for the positive in every criticism. You have to master step one before this step because negative mind, a mind that is used to negatively judge others, always thinks negatively. Here is an example on how you can do this. You hear from one of your friends that everyone is talking about the way that you dress. If you have the negative, judgmental mind, you will get angry, feel insecure, stop arguing about how they are wrong and maybe stop your relationship with that group of people. On the other hand, if you have the positive mind, the mind that has been trained not to see the fault of others and criticize them, then you will see the positive from this conversation and either thank your friend and move on with your life or look into the way that you dress and change it a bit because you have not been very happy with the way that you dress yourself either and you just needed a poke, which you just got.
Step three is to have a good reason behind everything that you do and know that reason. When you know the reason behind your action, you have done your research, and you know you are doing the best thing for you, you tend to put other people’s judgement based on their ignorance or lack of knowledge.
Step four, stop explaining yourself. If you Have a good reason behind what you do and you know that you are doing what is right for you, then stop explaining yourself to others. Back to our example above, if you are satisfied with the way that you dress because it is comfortable for you and makes you feel happy then you don’t owe anyone any explanation. Your explanation will sound as an excuse for the people who judge you, so don’t even bother.
Step five, Please stop arguing you will never win and even if you win in this argument, you have probably lost your insanity and so much valuable time. There has been a recent headline about how coconut oil is not healthy, which I totally disagree. I have a few friends, who have read this article and since it was on the headline and this has been recommended by a bunch of doctors, are telling me that I should reconsider using coconut oil in my recipes. The fact is I know this article is not completely true and I have really good scientifically proven reasons for not believing and accepting this recommendation, but what is the point of arguing with someone who is not open to seeing and hearing the other side of the story?
Since it seems far away from reality to stop criticism, we need to learn to deal with it. As with everything else, we need to start with ourselves. We have to stop ourselves from criticizing and judging others before being able to fully deal with criticism.
To help you with the first step of this 5 step journey, I have a challenge for you. Here is how it goes:
For the next week every time you see someone doing something which you think is wrong before judging that person or jumping to any conclusions, find the reason behind their action. If the situation is the way that you cannot find out the real reason behind someone’s action, then just ignore it and look away, because it is probably none of your business.
Are you in?
I love to hear your thoughts and suggestions on this topic. If you try this exercise, I would like to hear how it went. Just leave me a comment below
Stay happy and healthy